The former midfielder recounts his life on and off the field. “Matteo fought so hard; to me, he remains an inspiration. My greatest joys were at Lazio; I’m disappointed by how it all ended.”

From the outside, people often perceive soccer as a world apart—gilded, perfect, free from everything, even pain. Even if a soccer player has always led a quiet life, never going overboard, he’s seen as a privileged individual who belongs to a different dimension than “normal” people. But then there are tragedies that bring everyone back down to earth. This is what happened to Diego Fuser, a former midfielder for Torino, Milan, Fiorentina, Lazio, Parma, and Roma with over 400 Serie A appearances. He was never a superstar or a cover star—even though some people called him a “rebel” when he was young—and in 2015, he experienced the greatest pain a father can endure: his son Matteo passed away at age 16 after a long illness. “It changed my life, devastating it forever. It’s something that leaves a mark inside you, hard to explain. You try to accept it but look for answers that don’t exist.”

Diego Fuser, let’s start from the beginning. You got your start in professional soccer playing for Torino’s youth teams while rooting for Juve. Quite a paradox. Was it your dad’s fault?

“Yes, he used to take me to the stadium. I went every Sunday until I was in the youth league, then I stopped. My idol was Tardelli; I absolutely loved the way he played on the field.”

So over time you became a Torino fan?

“Yes, starting in the Primavera. After all, when you play against Juve, you realize a lot of things, and you can’t root for them anymore.”

In 1989, Milan signed you. First under Sacchi and then under Capello—any regrets?

“The first year, I probably wasn’t quite at the right level. The second year, though, after my loan to Fiorentina, I returned to Milan convinced I could make my mark. Capello, however, tried Gullit on the right wing during training camp and it worked, so Ruud played there almost the entire year. And in June, I asked to leave.”

Was Zoff the one who wanted you at Lazio?

“That’s why I chose the Biancocelesti. They were four wonderful years; I had the honor of wearing the captain’s armband and lifting trophies. It’s a shame how it ended…”

Did you expect to be treated differently?

“After all the success we achieved, yes, I think I would have deserved it. I was let go as if I were just one of many. Let’s just say the suggestion came from someone who wasn’t the coach but acted as if he were.”

Who are you referring to?

“It’s no secret that Mancini had a lot of power at that Lazio. Eriksson listened to him a lot. They let me, Signori, and others go. They had other plans.”

Did you ever speak with the Swede?

“He told me that if Parma offered me more money, I should go. Lazio didn’t do anything to keep me.”

Then, three years later, you decided to return to Rome—but to play for the Giallorossi. How did that go?

“Before the Roma-Parma match—the last game of the season—Capello approached me during warm-ups and asked if I’d be joining them the following year. I said yes right away. Then, a few weeks later, we made it official.”

A real blow for Lazio fans…

“I’ll say it again: I didn’t expect to be treated that way. I’m attached to the Biancocelesti—we had some wonderful seasons together—and I would never have gone straight to Roma. But I’d spent three seasons at Parma; I never imagined it would spark so many negative reactions. Fans often don’t understand that for us, it’s a job. I respect and understand their passion, but I think that every now and then, a little respect is due to those who’ve given their all. Can you believe that Lazio has never invited me to the Olimpico…”.

Do you have any regrets?

“Not regarding my choices. I do have one regarding the national team: not being called up for the 2000 European Championship really hurt.”

Zoff was coaching the national team at the time. It would have been the perfect way to come full circle…

“I’d played in every qualifying match, just like with Maldini two years earlier. But my relationship with Zoff was different. I’d been injured, but I was recovering and I told him so; he decided not to take me anyway. It’s a wound that has never fully healed.”

You were talking about Roma; things didn’t go nearly as well there as expected. Why was that?

“ The first season was very positive. We came close to winning a second consecutive Scudetto and played in the Champions League. The following season, however, there were some misunderstandings with the club. I didn’t play much, but my mind was already elsewhere. I was starting to have problems bigger than soccer.”

Was that when you found out about Matteo’s illness?

“ Yes, I’d sneak out of training to rush to my son. I’d leave and spend the evening at the hospital with my wife. We fought so hard. Matteo fought hard, too. Unfortunately, there are circumstances beyond anyone’s control.”

It was a tragedy that shook the world of soccer. Fourteen years have passed—how has it changed you?

“ In so many ways, believe me. It was an event that turned our lives upside down, devastating them forever. It leaves a mark on you deep inside; it’s hard to explain. You try to accept it, but you keep searching for answers that don’t exist. I don’t think there’s any pain greater than the loss of a child. Nothing has been the same since. At the same time, though, his example has given me so much strength; we live for him every day.”