The former rising star of Gasperini’s Atalanta, who later moved to Milan, recounts the string of injuries that led to his decision to retire: “Gasp is the best; he works you to the bone in training, but then you see the results. The final blow came from Pioli at Milan; when I was healthy, it was as if he didn’t even see me…”

As soon as the video call opens, Andrea Conti’s eyes strike you. Sad, as if they’ve lost their spark. Dull, as if they, too, have given up. “There’s nothing worse than when you realize it’s over. But accepting it becomes the only way to move forward.” It will remain a huge “what if.” For years, Andrea endured an ordeal, a constant battle with that knee that slowly turned into a nightmare and torment. “There isn’t a single day in my life when I don’t think about it. It comes to mind every moment, influencing my every movement, even the most trivial.” 2017 was the year he made dreams come true one after another: goals with Atalanta in Serie A under Gasperini, the transfer to Milan, his debut at San Siro, the senior national team, and a future that seemed to mark him as one of Italian soccer’s greatest talents. Until he tore his ACL in September, after just a handful of games in the Rossoneri colors. The beginning of the end. That ligament that snapped twice in the span of nine months, becoming the toughest opponent to face and, at the same time, his greatest enemy. Like a striker who dribbles away from you and you can’t do anything about it, except accept the fact that he’s faster. And start chasing after him. Conti spent the last eight seasons like that, driven by the fear of getting hurt again, held back, held in check by the thought of never feeling like a soccer player again. Until, at 31, after a season as a free agent, he chose to call it quits. Let’s start right here.

Have you really decided to quit?

“I’m exhausted; I’ve been battling physical problems, injuries, and disappointments for years. I’ve been a free agent for a year, and in the last three years I’ve played just nine games. You have to be aware of your own situation; I can’t take it anymore, and this will be my final decision.”

Will you make an announcement?

“No, I’m saying it here at Sports Prediction. I’m quitting. I’m not the social media type; I never post anything, and I don’t think I’ll do it in this case.”

You mentioned it yourself: over the past three years, you’ve played just over a hundred minutes, until your release last summer. Did you feel abandoned by the world of soccer? As if everyone had forgotten about you?

“I’ve lost hope. I knew that after my contract with Sampdoria ended, it wouldn’t be easy, and that’s been confirmed over the past few months, during which no one has called me anyway. So it’s better to accept that it’s over and move on.”

Have you already decided what you’ll do in the future?

“No, I don’t know yet. I don’t want to make rash decisions; I can only say that I still see myself in soccer. I’m a player at heart—maybe I’d like to coach—but it’s still too early to say. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I’ll never play again. I’ve been unlucky in my career, but I know life doesn’t end here. I’ll definitely do something else. You can’t hide from it, even if it’s hard to accept. It’s all a mental game. A dream is ending: but for me, lately, going to the field wasn’t a joy anymore. I was dragging myself there; I wasn’t myself anymore.“

Was it agonizing to fear you’d never return to your previous level?

”Every moment after my first injury, I was afraid of not knowing what would become of me, of my career, of my future. It was like a ghost that always followed me. When you’re a soccer player, you know you’re facing risks like that, but then it happens at the best moment of your life and… it changes things a bit. I can say that I stopped playing because of all the injuries. With a different fate, who knows where I’d be now…”.

Do you think a lot about how things would have turned out if…?

”Yes, if I’m being honest, I do it all the time. I think about why others are on the field and I’m on the couch. Over time I’ve learned to live with it, but it’s something that throws you into a crisis. You make comparisons, you look for answers that don’t exist. And I think it will be like this forever; these thoughts will never leave me.”

In many cases, people say that having a goal can be the driving force to get back to where you were. How did you experience that?

“After my first injury, I intended to come back quickly, to prove that I was still capable of making my mark. Then, unfortunately, things didn’t go well: as soon as I returned, I got hurt again, and from then on it was just a succession of problems and constant pain.”

Have you ever felt the need to talk to a psychologist?

“No, and that was a big mistake. The truth is, I never really realized how much I needed it. If I could go back, I definitely would. I probably would have been able to handle everything a little better.”

Would you say your knee has become your biggest opponent?

“Absolutely. There isn’t a single day when I open my eyes and don’t think about my knee. There isn’t a moment when I’m not paying attention to it. And I’m talking about life, not just when I’m playing. It holds me back, it slows me down. An example? I can’t get down on my knees, I can’t bend over.”

Is there anyone in particular who made you feel abandoned?

That’s why I felt bad for a long time. The world of soccer took me in, pampered me, and then pushed me away and forgot me. In so many ways, I was left alone, especially by those who said they loved me. Also because I think it’s easy to help you when you’re playing for Milan, on the national team, and everything’s going well. It’s different when you fall; that’s when you see who’s really there for you. And unfortunately, I can count those people on one hand.”

Let’s move on to Milan. You arrived from Atalanta in the summer of 2017—what memories do you have?

“The first thing that comes to mind is the impact of Milanello. It was incredible. Just seeing fans asking for photos and autographs, standing there in the sun for me. I felt like I’d been transported to another planet. Like when, before the match against Craiova, there were 40,000 people outside the stadium waiting for the team bus.“

At Atalanta, you really broke out under Gasperini. Is he the best coach you’ve ever had in your career?

”Yes, I’d put him at the top of the list. Personally, I owe him so much and I can only speak highly of him: he works you to the bone in training, pushes you to give it your all, but then on the field on Sundays, you reap the rewards. You’re flying and you don’t even realize it. Plus, you always know what to do without him having to say anything else. He’s not one to talk much with the players, he doesn’t give excessive praise, but he always manages to strike the right chord when needed.”

It often happens that many players leave Atalanta and then don’t perform as well as they did before. How do you explain that?

“When you train with Gasperini, you go a thousand miles an hour and work incredibly hard. Then you change teams, and the workload is very different, which affects you a bit. On top of that, there’s the pressure, the fact that you’re paid a lot, and your responsibilities increase. Many haven’t been able to handle all of that. Mentally, it can be complicated.”

At Milan, on the other hand, you were coached by Pioli. What memories do you have?

“I got along great with Pioli, even if I’m a bit torn in my assessment. When he arrived at Milan, I started playing all the time, then I got injured again, and from that point on, I disappeared from his radar. It was as if he didn’t see me. He never gave me an explanation, or anything. Let’s say it was a final blow, because I was feeling good.“

Milan and Atalanta face off on Sunday—who will you be rooting for?

”That puts me in a tough spot. I have more friends at Atalanta, even though Milan was the team that made my dream come true. Then, unfortunately, things turned out the way they did. Sunday’s match will be a hard-fought one; I hope both teams can make it to the Champions League. As for the result, I’d be happy with a draw.” For the record, it ended 1-1…