The former star player of Gasperini’s Atalanta, who then moved to Milan, recounts the series of injuries that led to his decision to retire: “Gasp is the best, he kills you in training but then you see the results. Pioli at Milan was the final slap in the face. When I was fit, it was as if he didn’t see me…”

As soon as the video call opens, Andrea Conti’s eyes strike you. They are sad, as if they have lost their vitality. They are dull, so much so that they too seem to have given up. “There’s nothing worse than when you realize it’s over. But accepting it becomes the only way to move forward.” It will remain a big “what if.” For years, Andrea went through an ordeal, a constant struggle with that knee that slowly became a nightmare and torment. “There isn’t a day in my life when I don’t think about it. It comes to mind every moment, influencing my every movement, even the most trivial.” 2017 was the year he realized a series of dreams: goals with Atalanta in Serie A with Gasperini, the transfer to Milan, his debut at San Siro, the senior national team, and a future that seemed to designate him as one of the great talents of Italian soccer. Until he tore his cruciate ligament in September, after just a handful of games with the Rossoneri. The beginning of the end. That ligament snapped twice in nine months, becoming his toughest opponent and, at the same time, his greatest enemy. It was like a striker dribbling away from you and there was nothing you could do about it except accept that he was faster. And start chasing. Conti spent the last eight seasons like this, driven by the fear of getting hurt again, blocked, held back by the thought of never feeling like a footballer again. Until, at the age of 31, after a season as a free agent, he decided to call it quits. Let’s start from here.

Have you really decided to quit?

“I’m exhausted, I’ve been struggling with physical problems, injuries, and disappointments for years. I’ve been a free agent for a year and have played just nine games in the last three. You have to be aware of your situation, I can’t take it anymore, and this will be my final decision.”

Will you make an announcement?

“No, I’m saying it here at Sports Prediction. I’m quitting. I’m not the social media type, I never post anything and I don’t think I will in this case.”

You said it yourself, in the last three years you’ve played just over a hundred minutes, until you became a free agent last summer. Did you feel abandoned by the world of soccer? As if everyone had forgotten about you?

“I lost hope. I knew that after my contract with Sampdoria ended, it wouldn’t be easy, and I’ve seen that in recent months, when no one has called me. So it’s better to accept that it’s over and move on.”

Have you already decided what you’ll do in the future?

“No, I don’t know yet. I don’t want to make rash decisions, I can only say that I still see myself in football. I’m a player, maybe I’d like to coach, but it’s still too early to say. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I’ll never play again. I’ve been unlucky in my career, but I know that life doesn’t end here. I’ll definitely do something else. You can’t hide, even if it’s hard to accept. It’s all mental work. A dream has ended, but lately, going to the field was no longer a joy for me. I was dragging myself along, I wasn’t myself anymore.“

Was it distressing to fear that you would never return to your previous level?

”Every moment after my first injury, I was afraid of not knowing what would become of me, my career, my future. It was like a ghost that always accompanied me. When you’re a soccer player, you’re aware that you face similar risks, but then it happens to you at the best moment of your life and… it changes you a bit. I can say that I stopped playing because of my many injuries. With a different fate, who knows where I would be now…“

Do you think a lot about how things would have turned out if…?

”Yes, to be honest, I do it all the time. I think about why others are on the field and I’m on the couch. Over time, I’ve learned to live with it, but it’s something that throws you into crisis. You make comparisons, you look for answers that don’t exist. And I think it will always be like this, these thoughts will never leave me.”

In many cases, it is said that having a goal can be the driving force to get back to where you were before. How did you experience it?

“After my first injury, I wanted to come back quickly, to prove that I was still capable. Then, unfortunately, things didn’t go well: as soon as I came back, I got hurt again, and from then on, it was just a series of problems and constant pain.”

Did you ever feel the need to talk to a psychologist?

“No, and that was a big mistake. The truth is, I never really realized how much I needed it. If I could go back, I definitely would. I probably would have been able to handle everything a little better.”

Would you say that your knee has become your biggest opponent?

“Absolutely. There isn’t a day when I open my eyes and don’t think about my knee. There isn’t a moment when I’m not paying attention to it. And I’m talking about life, not just when I’m playing. It blocks me, it slows me down. An example? I can’t get down on my knees, I can’t bend over.”

Is there anyone in particular who you felt abandoned you?

That’s why I’ve been feeling bad for a long time. Soccer is a world that took me in, pampered me, and then pushed me away and forgot about me. In many ways, I’ve been left alone, especially by those who said they loved me. I think it’s easy to help you when you play for Milan, for the national team, and everything is going well. It’s different when you fall; that’s when you see who’s really close to you. And unfortunately, I can count those people on one hand.

Let’s move on to Milan. You arrived from Atalanta in the summer of 2017. What memories do you have?

“The first thing that comes to mind is the impact of Milanello. It was incredible. Just seeing fans asking for photos and autographs, standing there in the sun for me. I felt like I had landed on another planet. Like when, before the game against Craiova, there were 40,000 people outside the stadium waiting for the bus.“

At Atalanta, you exploded under Gasperini. Is he the best coach you’ve ever had in your career?

”Yes, I put him in first place. Personally, I owe him a lot and I can only speak highly of him: he pushes you hard in training, he pushes you to give your all, but then on the pitch on Sunday you reap the rewards. You fly and you don’t even notice. What’s more, you always know what to do without him telling you anything else. He’s not one to talk much to the players, he doesn’t get too familiar, but he always manages to strike the right chord when needed.”

It often happens that many players leave Atalanta and then don’t perform as well as before. How do you explain that?

“When you train with Gasperini, you go at a thousand miles an hour and work really hard. Then you change teams and the workload is very different, and that affects you a bit. Then there’s the pressure, the fact that you’re paid a lot and your responsibilities increase. Many have not been able to cope with all this. Mentally, it can be complicated.“

At Milan, on the other hand, you were coached by Pioli. What memories do you have?

”I got on very well with Pioli, even though I’m a bit torn in my opinion. When he arrived at Milan, I started playing all the time, then I got injured again and from then on I disappeared for him. It was as if he didn’t see me. He never gave me an explanation or anything. Let’s say it was a final slap in the face, because I felt good.“

Milan and Atalanta face each other on Sunday. Who will you be rooting for?

”That’s a difficult question. I have more friends at Atalanta, even though Milan was the team that made my dream come true. Then, unfortunately, things turned out the way they did. Sunday’s game will be a tough one, I hope both teams can reach the Champions League. As for the result, I’ll settle for a draw.” For the record, it ended 1-1…